Welcome to our new column titled, Can We Talk, written by Tsholofelo Moyo. Known affectionately as Cartier Tsholo or Mr Moyo, he’s here to bring us weekly insights in the world of reality television.

Reality TV has become somewhat of an avenue for escapism for most of us.

It offers a deep dive into the lives of other people who sign up to be part of social experiments where they meet and engage with complete strangers (Real Housewives) or they isolate themselves in a home for three months with no access to the outside world (Big Brother) or they decide to marry a stranger that they meet at the alter for the first time (Married at First Sight).  

These shows often offer a great source of entertainment as we watch the cast members in different situations and unravel, but it can also take a dark turn as the latest seasons of popular shows such as Mommy Club, Real Housewives of Durban and most recently Married at first sight have shown us. 

 

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This previous Sunday saw the conclusion of the much talked about reality show Married At first Sight Mzansi and I hosted a watch party at ZOR restaurant in Eastgate to conclude a very dramatic season of the show.

I invited a few friends, cast and fans of the show who have engaged with my reviews over the past three and a half months and it was an exciting experience to witness everyone’s real life reactions as they watched the drama (read: toxicity) of the reunion play out.

An uproar of excitement, anger and frustration poured out into the restaurant as we all gasped in unison  when receipts were being dished out like the cast members were cashiers at the supermarket and we collectively let out screams as we shouted at the lies that other cast members were spewing. 

The experience felt like we were joining together to watch the rugby final as a community and I could finally enjoy this experience with a sport I had lots of knowledge in, reality tv. 

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The collective excitement and emotions in the room left me wondering whether this is the general reaction production companies and channels seek when they produce these reality shows.

Is the visceral reaction from audiences the end goal?

Are they curating content to create buzz every week?

Are they aiming to trend on social media?

Is Toxicity the new black?

Some of the cast members from the show joined in the festivities and many of them emphasised how “production” didn’t show the good parts of their experiences.

From the romantic dates, to healthy moments of conflict resolution that could have changed our narrative on some of these couples, they (production) only leaned in on the tumultuous moments that created the shock factor we experienced every Sunday and unpacked on a Monday between Teams meetings and school drop offs, but are we part of the problem by tuning in and feeding into this well curated mess and yearning for another dose? 

Married at First Sight Mzansi was no doubt one of the most talked about reality shows in South Africa in its 14 week run and the show transcended and became more than just a reality show and it became an incubator of conversations. 

The show had viewers discussing serious topics about relationships such as financial/ emotional abuse, the desirability complex and how various attachment style affect relationships. 

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Viewers tuned in for the love stories and stayed for the drama that was dished up weekly and I fear that now every show is seeking to give us that drama and OMG moment at the risk of the well being of the viewer (as this could be triggering) but most importantly the cast members. 

And I want to know. 

As viewers, are we seeking entertainment at the risk of empathy?

Have we become so desensitised to chaos that we crave the next emotional explosion before the credits start rolling?

Maybe the real social experiment isn’t the one on TV, it’s the one happening in our living rooms and social media after every episode.