Happy Father’s Day to all men fulfilling their biological and social duties. Fatherhood isn’t just about taking care of your biological children; it also includes playing a role in society by building good men for the betterment of society. It is important to note that there are men fulfilling these roles, however, South Africa still has a high number of absent fathers, and today we explore some of the reasons why.

According to statistics South Africa, Only 31.7% of black children live with their biological fathers, compared with 51.3% of coloured children, 86.1% of Indian or Asian children and 80.2% of white children. Here are the reasons why men choose to be absent fathers:

• Divorce/Breakup between parents.

Conflict between parents can often lead to fathers withdrawing their presence from their children’s lives, and in some cases, mothers can deny fathers access to their children.

• Failure to meet cultural expectations.

In many African cultures, you must pay ‘’damages’’ if you impregnate a woman you haven’t married. This creates a financial burden on men and will often be denied access to the child if they fail to meet these cultural expectations.

• Misconceptions of what fatherhood is.

It’s 2024 and men are still expected to be the providers. The breadwinning role is often paired with the definition of a man. Needless to say most men embrace this concept as it feeds their ego. The problem begins when the father can no longer provide financially. He is not seen as a man anymore nor a father anymore because he does not meet the definition of what a father is, and therefore, he runs away from his responsibilities.

• Fear of taking up responsibility.

The weight of providing emotional, financial, and moral support to a child can feel daunting, especially when coupled with uncertainties about balancing career aspirations, personal ambitions, and the demands of parenthood. This fear often stems from a desire to be a good father, however, this leads men to run away from taking up this role.

• Lack of role models in the father’s life.

Men who grew up without a positive father figure or experienced a lack of paternal influence may struggle with their own identity as fathers. Without a role model to emulate, they may feel uncertain or unprepared for the responsibilities and emotional demands of parenthood. This lack of a supportive paternal presence during their formative years can contribute to feelings of insecurity or inadequacy when faced with the prospect of becoming a father themselves.

In conclusion, there is a tendency to blend fatherhood, manhood, and husband-hood into a singular stereotype, where it’s commonly assumed that being a father necessitates being a spouse, thereby validating one’s manhood. This oversimplification poses challenges by disregarding unmarried fathers who actively care for their children, regardless of their marital status. It undermines the diverse ways in which men can fulfil their paternal roles independently of their relationship status, perpetuating narrow societal norms that fail to recognize and support non-traditional family dynamics.